Adoption fraud can blindside even the most prepared families, especially when emotions run high. Understanding common adoption scams and how to stay safe can help you move forward with more peace of mind.

Adoption fraud is a scam in which someone uses deception to extract money, gifts, or emotional leverage from people hoping to adopt.

It’s often run by scammers who know exactly how to tug at your heart, using fake photos and made-up emergencies designed to keep you hooked. Folks dreaming of starting or growing their family are often approached during an emotionally vulnerable time.

I learned that the hard way. A message that seemed like the start of a life-changing journey quickly raised concerns I couldn’t ignore. I’ll share how it unfolded and the red flags I missed, so you don’t have to.

Common adoption scams you should know about

Many adoption scams follow the same patterns as other online scams, such as holiday scams or sextortion: someone hiding behind a screen and using emotional manipulation and fake urgency to cloud your judgment. 

The goal is to pull you into an adoption fraud scheme before you realize what’s happening. Understanding how each scam works helps you stay calm, focused, and prepared to spot trouble early.

Here are the most common types of adoption fraud:

• Fabricated or false matching: A scammer pretends to be an expectant parent, builds a quick bond, and invents details that fall apart once you start asking real questions.

• Double matching: One birth parent promises the same child to several families, collecting money or gifts from everyone.

• Fee traps and surprise charges: Every day brings a new bill, such as medical visits, last-minute travel, or emergency supplies, all designed to drain you before you realize the story is fake.

• Withholding key information (wrongful adoption): Some scammers hide major facts, like health concerns or legal issues, to keep you involved until money changes hands.

• Baby-selling schemes: The most severe form of adoption fraud, where someone treats the process like a cash sale, pushing illegal payments or shady paperwork to move things along fast.

Red flags to watch for during the adoption process

If the person on the other end pushes for fast money, can’t keep their story straight, or avoids sharing any real proof, something isn’t right.

These are the same clues you’ll spot in many online scams, and they’re often the first signs of what adoption fraud is: A setup built to play on your hopes and dreams.

Watch out for:

• Fast money pressure: Scammers love urgency. They’ll rush you into paying supposed medical bills for the pregnant birth mother or the expected baby before you have time to verify anything or consult your attorney.

• No proof of pregnancy: If they dodge video calls, medical records, or any simple confirmation, that’s a clear warning sign.

• Ghosting, dodging, and weird communication: Messages jump from warm and chatty to cold and chaotic. They vanish for days, then pop back in with a new crisis.

• Unsolicited contact online: Many fake adoption schemes start with a DM or email out of the blue, often written like they already picked you for some special reason.

• Photos that don’t add up: Some scammers recycle baby bump pics, nursery photos, or ultrasound images you can reverse-search and find all over the internet. If the visuals look too polished or oddly generic, trust your gut.

• Sloppy websites and messages: Poor spelling and grammar or copy-and-paste content on their profile or website can signal something rushed or fake.

Also, be cautious if someone claims they can match you right away when you aren't even home study-approved. That offer alone breaks the basic rules of the adoption process and is one of the clearest signs you’re dealing with something unsafe. Slowing down and checking the details can spare you from a long, messy situation.

How I almost fell for an adoption scam

Here’s the moment that opened my eyes to how real these scams can feel when you’re in the middle of the adoption process.

I joined a large Facebook group for people interested in adoption, a supportive community where families share stories, ask questions, and learn from one another. 

After I posted about our own search, someone jumped in saying they were a lawyer who could guide my husband and me through the process. Real professionals do show up in these groups, so nothing felt strange at first.

We moved the conversation to Messenger, and everything seemed legit. They even shared a link to their website when I asked. But little cracks started to show. Their spelling and grammar were rough, their profile photos resembled stock images, and their answers didn’t reflect real expertise.

Then came the biggest red flag: They said they could match us with a child immediately, even though we weren’t home study-approved. Anyone familiar with adoption knows that’s simply not possible. That’s when it clicked that we were being scammed. They also kept nudging us to switch to WhatsApp, which ultimately confirmed our suspicions.

It’s unsettling how close we came to trusting them. But I am grateful I recognized the signs so that the scammer couldn’t slip through the cracks.

How to protect yourself without feeling paranoid

A few steady habits go a long way, especially when you’re fighting scams with your family and trying to protect something as personal as an adoption journey. 

Here are the ones that matter most:

• Work with licensed pros: Choose agencies, attorneys, and social workers with credentials you can verify through state boards and trusted associations.

• Get real proof first: Ask for confirmation of pregnancy, medical provider details, and documents that follow state rules.

• Use third-party payments: Let a vetted professional handle money so you never send funds directly to someone you’ve only met online.

• Put everything in writing: Keep contracts and message logs so details stay clear and no one can twist the story later.

And consider pairing all this with tools that offer AI scam protection, which can flag sketchy emails, FakeCaptcha scams, and other tricks that try to break your focus.

Staying safe from adoption fraud

Staying alert online can help make the adoption process feel more manageable, especially when emotions are high and conversations move quickly. Extra safeguards can help you stay focused and spot potential issues earlier.

Avast Free Antivirus includes the AI-powered Avast Assistant to help determine if online messages are scams and guide you on what to do next. It also protects against phishing attempts and fake websites commonly used in adoption fraud, so you can focus on building your family with greater peace of mind.

FAQs

Is it normal for a birth parent to contact me directly on social media?

It happens, but it should be handled carefully. Always loop in a licensed agency or attorney before sharing personal details or making commitments.

How do I verify that an adoption agency or professional is legit?

Look for proper licensing, check state databases, and read reviews from real families. A legitimate professional won’t rush you or dodge questions.

How common are failed adoptions?

Failed adoptions aren't rare, and they can happen for emotional, legal, or financial reasons. Working with verified professionals helps reduce that risk.